Be happy!

Heyy sorry I’m slackin again! Midterms are this week and I’m busy going cuh-razy. But on the bright side, Spring Break is next week. Yay!

Anywho, ran across this article and thought it was interesting. Everybody seems so busy these days, maybe we need to take this adivce and just chill?

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/healthieryou/16006/4-simple-secrets-to-feeling-happier-every-day/

Have a good day!

❤

Mom!

Heyyyy guys! I know everybody is sad that the weekend is over, but at least Spring Break is coming up. At least for those of us still in school 🙂

After watching the Oscars and almost crying because of Sandra Bullock’s speech I decided I have to do a post about my mom. She’s without a doubt the person who has made me who I am, and frankly I’m surprised she hasn’t come up before now.

I’m the youngest of three kids and the only girl. From day one I’ve been spoiled beyond means and the amount of love in my life is just ridiculous. I’m a daddy’s little girl and my brother’s baby sister. And for my mom, I was exactly what she wanted (her words, not mine!) She always knew she wanted a daughter and she never took that for granted once I was born. I had every cute little outfit you could have imagined, every little bow for my hair and every little doll I ever wanted. I got all the attention I ever needed plus more. Shoot, even when I was in trouble I was still super lucky.

She’s always been my mom first, but without a doubt, my best friend second. And as I’ve gotten older that line has become blurry and she’s just become the most important person in my life. I’ve always found it amazing that someone who has no problem calling me out on all my flaws could also make me feel like the most beautiful person in the world. How the only person I’ve ever really gotten into a fight with is also the only person I would probably give my life for. How the person who would love me even if I ended up in jail is the same person who I want to succeed for. She taught me to do everything for myself, but in the end all I want is to make her happy and proud.

My mother was married at the age of 17. It was an arranged marriage and she was plucked from her life in India to move to the states to be with my dad. She never got to finish college and was forced to make a new life here. When I was born she made a promise to herself that her daughter wouldn’t ever be forced to change her life for another person. She has always pushed me to do my best so I can know what it feels like. She always jokingly says she lives vicariously through me, but I think about that a lot as I live my life. There are certain things she never got the chance to do, and I would love to be able to do those for her.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized how selfless she has been. Raising my brothers and I couldn’t have been easy for her and my dad (even though the three of us are pretty awesome kids :)) and I’m sure there were days when they just wanted us out for a while. But I don’t think there was ever a time when we didn’t feel loved and protected. They gave us hugs when we were sad. Money when we were broke. Puppies when we begged for them. And love. So much love.

She pushes me to do things most mom’s might not push their daughters to do. But she does it because she knows I need and deserve those experiences. She never judges me for my mistakes and can manage to spin everything in a positive way. For anybody who wondered where my optimism came from, it’s from her.

I know I’ll never be able to thank her for everything she’s done, but I wish I could. Hopefully one day I can show her what she’s done for me.

She would literally kill me if she knew I put this picture up 🙂

❤

Be warned: I’m about to get all sorts of feelings on you

Hiiii friends! Happy Friday! Hope everyone had a wonderful week.

So it was a slow day at my internship, which was cool at first because I was super tired. But the less there is to do the slower the day goes, right? Anywho, I spent my time reading up on my news and I ran across an article about Jessica Simpson’s visit to Oprah. I never got to watch the episode but I heard she talked a lot about body image and stuff like that. Obviously that poor girl has to deal with the whole world calling her fat when she gains half a pound. In the article there was a video of her visit to France when she met with an anorexic model. The whole thing brought Jessica to tears and, of course, the waterworks started on my end.

I wasn’t all that surprised that I was crying, as I am an emotional person in general. And anything that has to do with weight and body image really affects me.

Obviously this has made me think all day about my own body image. I’ve fought with my weight all my life and have shed my fair share of tears over it. It’s something I deal with everyday. I’m reminded of it everytime I feel guilty for eating a cupcake, everytime I can’t wear what I’d like to wear. Even when I feel good about working out or something I’m reminded of the reason why I’m working out. I know my life could be worse, and at least I’m attempting to do something about the way I feel.

I’m still scared though. For so long I’ve almost been able to hide behind my size. I was convinced that no matter how smart I was, how nice I was, how funny I was, how whatever I was it didn’t matter. As long as I was fat it wouldn’t matter. I was even convinced that I wouldn’t be able to find a good job after school because of my weight. I’m not stupid and therefore know that looks do matter..in all aspects of life. Again, it’s not right. But it’s the way it is.

The reason I bring this up is because suddenly everything I’ve thought seems to be wrong. This semester has been so different for me, and I hate to say it this way, but everything seems to be going my way. I hope I don’t sound like I’m bragging, because I’m more confused than anything. I’m doing well in school, I landed an incredible internship this spring, already have one lined up for the summer, I’m handling the stresses at the paper well and my social life is doing pretty darn well too.

But why? Why did it take so long for it to all come together. It’s hard for me to think that I simply deserve these things. Yes, I work hard but it still seems like a bit much. It’s kind of like how I deal with compliments. When someone says something nice to me or about me, I do believe them. But what they see isn’t what I see. They don’t see me through my eyes. So if somebody tells me I’m pretty it doesn’t mean I will automatically think that too. But it doesn’t mean I think they’re lying either. Different perception. So others might think that everything I’m doing this semester is right on track, but I think it’s straight up crazy. It’s good in a way because it makes me work harder, but I hate that I keep doubting myself. I wish I could just enjoy this and really feel happy for myself.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about these things for a while and I just needed to get it all out. I might regret even writing this..but that’s what the delete button is for, right?

Have a good weekend friends!

❤

No apologies

Hey lovepies! Hope everyone is having a great day.

I’ve decided to not apologize for being such a blog slacker. We all know I suck at this. Those of you who still choose to check this thing deserve a gold star. Or a hug..whichever works for you.

I”ve been a busy little bee for the past few weeks, but I honestly love it. It’s ridiculous how happy I am to be an intern. I’m also very lucky because they don’t treat me like a stereotypical intern. They actually sit down and show me how to do the things they actually do. And on Monday they asked me to sit in a meeting with them and brainstorm ideas for one of our clients. Normally interns don’t get to do things like that, but apparently I’m awesome 🙂 The company really liked some of my ideas too! Stoked about that.

Other than that, life is good. My friends threw me a surprise birthday party on Friday which was so amazing. Sometimes I feel like I haven’t been a good friend these past few weeks because I’ve been so busy and wrapped up in my little life. I barely even see my roomies anymore…which is totally unacceptable! I use to be good about keeping up with my friends lives and seeing how they were. Now I’m failing at it. Boo.

New challenge: Stop thinking about myself for 10 seconds and see how someone else is doing. This should be easy since I like talking to people 🙂

Alrighty friends, I have to skip off to class (haha, how funny would it be if I actually skipped to class?!)

Later!

❤

Morning!

Good morning loves! For some ridiculous reason, I got ready like an hour earlier than I needed to. So I have allll this time on my hands (actually now it’s like 20 minutes–expect this post to be on the short side)

Let’s do a bad, good, great thing again. Cool?

Bad: Big shocker here, my back hates me. I had to miss a couple of classes yesterday because of it, and as we speak, I’m laying on my stomach typing this. For some reason, I’ve developed this weird little red spot right above my wound. Whenever that touches anything it hurts like a mother effer. So I’m fin standing. When sitting I’m like 50% okay as long as I don’t sit up against anything (driving sucks, btw) and laying down on my back is a no-no. Sitting in class is hard too cause it’s impossible to keep that area away from the chair. I make it work as much as I can though. *sigh*

Good: I can’t remember if I said this before, but I did well on those two tests I had a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t do as well as I wanted to on one, but I’ll take the grade. This just means extra studying int he future to bring that grade up!

Great: My birthday is on FRIDAY! Man, I love birthdays. Everybody is so nice, and it’s the one day you can walk around like you’re the shit…cause you kinda are 🙂 I have to go to my internship during the day, but the night will be just me and my faves and I couldn’t be more excited. AND THEN, on Saturday I’m going to Austin to celebrate with my parents. Can anybody say best weekend ever?! I haven’t seen them in a month, which is so ridiculous for me. I normally see them like once every two weeks. I miss them! So going home will be fun. I’ll probably be all sorts of hungover getting there, but it’s worth it 🙂

And, I’ll get to see my puppy (not so much a puppy at 85lbs)! I miss my Max baby when he’s not with me 😦

Anywho, sorry again for the shortness. Have a great day friends!

<3Mansee

Just dance..

And the award for worst blogger ever goes to……

Mans!

Hi friends! Sorry it’s been a while 😦 After my week of tests and other nonsense, I just kinda forgot about everything. Plus, I usually post at night, and I’ve been super tired by the time I get home these past few days and choose to not write anymore. But now I’m back! And actually I’m writing this at 10:30…IN THE MORNING! Whaaaaat?! My first class was cancelled and I don’t have to be on campus until 12:30…crazy.

I’ve just sitting on the couch in my jammies, watching some ridiculous show with Tia (or Tamara?) Mowry and some really hot guy who plays her football playing boyfriend. I’ve already had two cups of coffee, the most amazing breakfast thingy (almond butter ‘smore sandwich, anyone?) and talked with my roomies. It’s been a pretty fantastic day in the 2ish hours that I’ve been awake.

The rest of the day should be alright too. Just two easy classes, a meeting inbetween and, if we’re lucky, I’ll get to the gym after that. I went for the first time after foreverrrr on Tuesday and it felt okay. I pretty much did all arms, and a little bit of cardio. My back did start to act up a little after about 35 minutes, so I immediatly stopped. I took yesterday off and I’m hoping I can get back today. I need to sign up for one of those trainer session things, because I’m not sure I’m using all the weight machines the right way. All I know is that my arms still hurt from Tuesday..but if I’m not mistaken, that’s a good thing?

I also really want to try taking some classes somewhere. Even though I love my gym, they don’t offer anything. Jess found some $5 zumba classes, so maybe I can get in on that. It’s the closest thing I’ll probably find to dance. Gah, I miss dancing! I should just start spontaneously busting out with my own private dance parties. I’m sure my roomies would looooove that 🙂

In the words of my friend, Lin, “I’ve got some much shake, it’ll make your earth quake!” Ahhh, LOVE IT.

Anyway, I’m off to shower and get ready for my day 🙂 Hope you guys have a good one!

<3Mansee

A little late night evaluation

Hey party people! I don’t have much time, due to the fac that it’s already 2 a.m. and I still have a couple of chapters to review for one of my TWO exams tomorrow. Dear college, I hate you. Love, Mans.

Anywayyy, I ran across this article just now and I thought it was super important. Since the beginning of last semester I’ve been questioning my personality traits and trying to figure out how I can be a better friend/daughter/roomie/editor/student/intern/the list goes on and on. I had gotten to a point where I thought that to do well in one area, I would have to suffer or fail in another. But I’ve since learned how dumb that thinking is. Like I’ve said before, nobody is perfect, nor should they be. But, I think it’s good to evaluate yourself once in a while. I also think it’s super important to do this to others too (in a nonjudgmental way, of course). I’m pretty convinced everybody has at least some of these traits, sometimes you just have to dig deep a little to find them 🙂

With that said, check this out.

Have a great day!

Oh! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BROTHER! ❤

Warning: Apparently I write alot when I don’t want to study. Whoops.

Hi pretty people who read my blog! It is my every hope and dream that y’all are snuggled in bed, having sweet dreams while I am attempting to put off studying by posting this dealio.

Let’s get real here for a sec: School is great and all, but if it was a person I would probably punch it in the face. I had a quiz today, tomorrow I have another one and then on Thursday I have TWO major tests. Boourns. On top of that, I started my internship (more on that in a bit) today, so I’ll be there during the week too. And of course, my reign of HBIC is as strong as ever so that takes up time. I realize I can’t complain too much because I am CHOOSING to work at the paper, I CHOSE to schedule three out of four of my class on the same day and I NEED this internship if I ever want to do anything with my life (okay, that’s not true–I’m just being a drama queen 🙂 )

Buuuuut this is my blog and I’ll cry if I want to.

I’m le tired. It’s as simple as that. I’m tired but I have to study. I’m tired but I have to get up early in the morning. I’m tired but I need to workout. I’m tired but I should probably go home and cook dinner instead of picking something up. Yes, the “tired” thing is an excuse. And no, I haven’t let it run my life just yet. In the past, I did but I learned from that and I’m improving. This will all be worth it when I get my grades back and they’re good. And it will all be worth it when I realize how much I’m going to learn from this internship. And working at the paper already has been worth it (I guarantee you I would not have gotten this internship without my experience at The Paisano). So, at the end of the day I don’t have much to complain about.

But like I said, I’m tired. Straight up sleepy.

I think I was fine today until a certain point in the night. We were close to finishing up the issue, but I was reminded of all the stuff I still had to do or would have to do tomorrow. I LOOOOVE the work I do there and I adore those whom I work with. I know most people are looking out for my best interest, and I hope they know I do the same for them. But I’ve found myself bending over backwards to avoid conflict. The minute something happens I run around to fix it myself so nobody gets upset or angry. I hate conflict, especially because half the time it seems so uneccesary. However to avoid it I end up giving myself a bigger workload.

Oddly enough, this leads to another rant. I probably should have warned y’all this was a novel...

My entire life I’ve been told how nice I am. Sometimes, too nice. For a short period I thought this was a bad thing and I tried to be more bitchy (ridic, I know!) It just didn’t work for me. I felt awful. I hate everything that has to do with it. The voice-raising, the attitude, etc. Honestly, the reason I’m nice is because it makes ME feel good. It’s selfish, yet simple. When I’m mean I feel horrendous but when I’m nice I feel great. I mean, what would you choose? Yea, I’m glad it works out for others, but in the end it helps me sleep at night knowing that I’ve been a sweet/caring/nice/whatevergoodadjective person. Earlier I was really angry. I was pissed off and tired of the attitdue. Sometimes I feel like people think I can’t do my job and that hurts (sorry to anybody I work with who reads this–it’s honestly not personal..just a build-up of sorts). But I got over it. Now I’m fine, and I kinda feel stupid for feeling that way. I know that I’m an alright editor. If I wasn’t, I would have been kicked out by now. People can compare all they want (which I’m sure they have haha) but I’m proud of what I’ve done.

I am literally one of the most annoyingly optimistic people ever. I see good in everybody and find the silver lining in most situations. Even if I am mad at somebody, I eventually start to feel guilty (after I spend some time shit-talking, of course) and start reminding myself of their good qualities. I guess it goes back to my belief that nobody, especially myself, is perfect. I do expect a lot out of people who are close to me and whom I care about, but I can understand when they don’t give it to me. Since this optimism comes so naturally for me, why don’t I just be the friend to talk to? Why should I give up on a person when I can maybe be a help for them. Again, it’s a little selfish, but it works for me.

So anywho, that’s my rant. Now if anybody tells me I’m “too nice” I can just refer them to this post 🙂

Hope everybody has a great night/day!

<3Mansee

Oh crap, I forgot I was suppose to tell you about the internship. Basically, it was awesome and I’m pretty sure I’m going to love it there. I’ll be doing more work on Wednesday so I’ll be sure to post again about that then. Well, actually not then cause I have those two stupid tests on Thursday. Um, let’s just say that by the end of week it’ll be up. Sound good? Aw, who am I kidding, nobody reads this thing anyway–it’s honsetly for my own amusement 🙂

Ashton Kutcher has no pants

Literally. He just took his pants off on SNL.

Another Saturday night. Another day of doing nothing but studying and wishing I could live a back pain-free life. I know I’m complaining a lot about this, but it’s just so annoying. I’ve been dealing with it for far too long..it’s straight up not fair anymore. My surgeon said I would recover in a month. It’s been over 6 months now. Ridiculous.

So our neighbors are having a party next door and it’s so funny to listen to them. They’ve been playing Rock Band (or Guitar Hero) for the past couple of hours, and now they’re just yelling randomly. I love parties. Even when I’m not a part of it haha. Next week, my roomies and I are thinking about having a Game Night at our place. I live for Game Nights so it should be a grand time.

Anywho, I don’t really have much to report today. Hope you guys have a more fun Saturday night than me 🙂

<3Mansee

Good. Great. Bad.

Hiiii friends! So I’ve got good news, great news and not-so-great news. Let’s start with the bad and work our way up, shall we?

Bad: My back still hurts like a mofo. There are times when I can barely walk cause it hurts so bad. This morning I couldn’t even get out of bad. I honestly thought I was paralyzed or something for like three minutes. Thank goodness for leftover painkillers, or I’d be totally SOL. I know I should go to the doctor, but I’m terrified they’re going to tell me I need to have surgery again and I reallllly don’t want to go through that again. My surgeon had told me that I have what’s called a “chronic wound” which basically means my wound never really closed up and healed like it was suppose to (or at least as quickly as it was suppose to). He gave me until January to see if it healed. If it didn’t then I’m suppose to go back and we’d talk about another surgery. Honestly, at the beginning of the month I really was okay. Not 100%, but enough to live my life. Unfortunetly, me being me, I managed to rip this wound sometime last week and now I’m paying for it. Boo. It really sucks because I had just gotten back into working out, and now I have to step back from that a little. I think I can still do some arm and leg work, but abs and back are out of the question. Cardio is iffy too. Again, boooo.

Good: Actually I didn’t really have a “good” I guess. In general, life has been good (aside from the back thing). School is going fine, the paper is the same as it always is. My friends are great. My family is grand. I’m enjoying life and, really, what’s more “good” than that?

Oh wait, this is:

Great: I got that internship I reallly realllllllly wanted. I got the call on Monday and I was elated. The minute I walked into that office for my interview, I knew I wanted the chance to intern there. Not only am I proud, but I finally feel like I’m going to suceed after school. I always knew I would do well, but sometimes it’s easy to get down on yourself when you see others doing well and you’re just stuck. Doing the same thing day after day and seeing no results can be hard to get through; this internship will be something new. It will give me even more stability in my life and get me on track to where I want to be after graduation. Did I mention how excited I am about this? So excited! I start on Monday. Woohoo!

My parents are super happy too, and proud 🙂 Nothing makes me happier than to make my parents proud.

So that’s the news of my life. Today was pretty chill. After I managed to move and get out of bed (after missing my first class *guilty*) I spent the day on campus, in and out of other classes, doing work for the paper and hanging with in the office with other editors. After class I hung out with my favorite ex-intern in the whole wide world 🙂 We went to one of my favorite spots to drink and catch up. It was fantastic. Then we met up with some of his friends at a hookah bar and hung there for a while. Sometimes it’s just nice to hang with a bunch of guys for once, you know? No girly drama involved. Just fun.

Now I’m home. I just popped a painkiller and am waiting for it to kick in. Hope y’all have a great day!

<3Mansee

P.S. I can’t stop listening to this song. It’s mushy and lovey dovey and all that sh!t, but I smile everytime I hear it 🙂